Porkemon
by The Flower Child
Summary: Oh no! Something bad is happening to Pikachu! But what does pork have to do with it?
1. Default Chapter

PORKEMON! GOTTA FRY 'EM ALL!  
  
A/N- I was inspired by this story one day I was eating pork for dinner. It's odd and if you are offended by me making fun of Pokemon or pork, I suggest you read no further. - The Flower Child  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Pokemon but I own the girl named Chelsea.  
  
*Chapter 1 - The Pork*  
  
One day in Pokemon land...  
  
We find Ash and his fellow friends comming from Ecruteak City. They are heading toward the MooMoo Farm. "Ooohhhh, I'm so hungry..." he whined.   
  
"And thirsty..." Misty said.   
  
"And stupid..." Brock added.  
  
"WHAT!!!???" she screamed.  
  
"Well, If your thirsty, you could have just used one of your water Pokemon to get a glass of water." he replied.  
  
"Hey, look it's the MooMoo farm where Miltank are kept. Maybe we can get a nice cold glass of milk." Ash interrupted.  
  
"PPPIIIIKKKAAA!" Pikachu cheered.  
  
"All the time we've been together, Pikachu, I wish I knew what the heck you're saying." he said running ahead.   
  
They burst through the doors shouting "GOT MILK?" A young girl about their age welcomed them.   
  
"Well, if your looking for milk, you've certainly come to the right place. I'm Chelsea, who are you?"  
  
"Hello, miss, do you by any chance have an older sister?" Brock asked.  
  
"Uhh...no." she responded. "Awwwww..."  
  
Ash stepped up. "I'm Ash. These are my friends Brock and Misty and my Pokemon Pikachu." They all smiled and waved. "We all saw the milk farm and wanted to know if we could get a glass of milk."  
  
She smiled. "Why of course! Walk this way please." She led them to the back room where the Miltank are raised. She opened a giant freezer and took out a carton of milk with a Miltank's picture on it. She poured it into four glasses and gave it to them. They all drank it down in one gulp.   
  
Chelsea spoke up. "You must be hungry. Would you like to stay for dinner?" she asked politely. They all nodded.   
  
"Real food sounds pretty good for a change." Ash said.  
  
"Better than all the Pokecrap Brock has been trying to feed us. I think he's out to kill us or something." Misty mumbled.   
  
"HEY! That Pokemon food your talking about benifits Pokemon AND humans. Er, cartoons." he shouted back.   
  
"Umm...Shall I go start dinner?" Chelsea asked.  
  
"YES, YES, PLEASE!!" they all shouted.  
  
"What are we eating?" Ash asked.  
  
"Who cares, its real food thats all that matters." Misty said.  
  
"If you wanted to know, we're eating pork." she said. Ash was shocked.  
  
"You kill the Miltank for pork?" he asked.  
  
Misty smacked him on the back of the head. "STUPID! Pork comes from pigs, not cows." Chelsea smiled and walked away.  
  
"WAAAAAH! You don't like my Pokemon food!" Brock cried.  
  
**************************  
  
AT DINNER-  
  
Everyone sat down to dinner in their *AHEM* best outfits. Misty wore a clean yellow tanktop and jeans. Ash was wearing clean jeans (hey a rhyme) and a black T-shrit. Brock was wore a clean orange shirt with brown jeans. Pikachu was wearing...wearing...uhh...nothing I guess. Chelsea showed up in a long, white evening gown. "So tell me about yourselves." she asked.  
  
"Well, we're all out to become Pokemon Masters. Misty wants to be Master of Water Pokemon and Brock wants to be Worlds Best Breeder and I want to become A Master at Everything." Ash said.  
  
"You've already mastered being stupid..." Misty mumbled. Chelsea just giggled. Then an older woman walked in holding five trays of puuure pork. She set them down next to each one. Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu all reluctantly opened the trays and began to stuff their faces. Chelsea became pale.  
  
"Oh, no!" She cried.  
  
Ash looked up. "Wafappent?" He asked with a mouthful of pork.  
  
"Pokemon aren't allowed to eat pork!" she cried.  
  
"Whynoft?" he asked spitting pork all over the place.  
  
"Because...They'll turn into Porkemon!" she said very upset that she had accidently just fed pork to a Pikachu.  
  
"Uh-oh, that means...Pikachu is..." he couldn't finish so Misty finished for him.  
  
"Porkachu?"  
  
"WAAAAAHHHHH! Your not helping Misty!" he said between tears.  
  
Chelsea handed him a tissue. Just then, Brock noticed something. He picked up Pikachu. He shook him by his little legs. "PPPPIIIIKKKAAA!" he cried.  
  
"This Pikachu seems awfully healthy to me." Brock said.  
  
"Yes, well it could take up to 24 hours for the full effect to happen." Chelsea said.   
  
"But I don't want my Pikachu to be a Porkachu!" said Ash in between tears.  
  
"There's nothing we can do now but wait. Wait for the change to take place." she said.  
  
Ash picked up Pikachu and walked away. "C'mon Pikachu, lets spend our last moments together." (It brings a tear to my eye....not really.)  
  
**************************  
  
THE BEDROOM-  
  
"Well, it's a good thing Chelsea is letting us spend the night. What would you like to do before our finall departure?" Ash asked.  
  
"Pikaaaa..." he said wearily.   
  
"Pikachu...no don't leave me..." he said starting to cry again.  
  
The transformation had begun.   
  
  
Well... there should be one more chapter after this one. So I have to write it and you have to be patient. ^.^  
  
('o') Stay tuned for chapter two, Porkachu! 


	2. Porkachu

PORKEMON! GOTTA FRY EM ALL!  
  
A/N - Well I'm back here with the next chapter to Porkemon, and I'm eating a chocolate ice cream cone. What more can I say?   
-The Flower Child   
  
Disclaimer- I don't own Pokemon, but I own Chelsea and the chocolate ice cream cone I'm eating right now. ^-^  
  
*Chapter 2 - Porkachu*  
  
The transformation had begun. There was a bright flash of light. Then it stopped and standing before him was a Pikachu made entirely of pork.  
"WAAAAHHHHHH" Ash let out a piercing scream so loud it broke the sound barrier. Of course Chelsea, Misty, and Brock heard it and came running in.  
  
"Shut the hell up, Ash!" Misty shouted enraged.  
  
"But look at Pikachu!" he said.  
  
"Oh, you poor poor thing! This is all my fault." Chelsea said.  
  
"Porka?" it spoke.  
  
"Great it speaks pork language. How intellegent." Brock said.  
  
Suddenly Ash felt one of his Pokeballs move aroung in his belt. It opened up and out popped Charizard. "Chari chari zaaard! Zaaard! Chari!" (Translation - Look at me I'm big fat and ugly and have fire comming out of my butt. Now I'm going to eat that Porkachu.)  
  
But then, The Flower Child burst through the door with something terrible to say. "HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HAS KIDDNAPED MY CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM CONE!"  
  
"And what are we supposed to do about it?" Ash asked.  
  
"Well, isn't this the detective agency?"  
  
"Ahh...no. This is the MooMoo Milk farm." he said.  
  
"STUPID ME! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!" she said banging her head against the wall.  
  
"Please stop you'll hurt yourself. Anyway, I just happen to have a chocolate ice cream cone right here." said Chelsea producing an ice cream cone from behind her back.  
  
"Wow! Thanks!" she said grabbing the ice cream cone. She started flaping her arms and running around the room shouting "YAAAAY!"  
  
"Chari-chari zard!" (Translation- Look a Pidgeotto) Fire shot out of his mouth and burned The Flower Child.  
  
"STUPID CHARIZARD! NOW WE'VE GOT NO ONE TO WRITE THE STORY!" Ash shouted.  
  
Suddenly Kinomoto Sakura appeared out of nowhere. "Time card release."  
  
Everything was pushed back a few seconds.  
  
"Wow, thanks! I'M ALIIIIIIIIVE!" the Flower Child shouted.  
  
"No problem." she said dissapearing again. The Flower Child flew out the window and proceeded to eat her ice cream.  
  
Anyway...Charizard shot a whole bunch of flames at Porkachu. When all the smoke cleared, Porkachu was burnt to a crisp.  
  
"STUPID CHARIZARD! WHAT THE HECK POSSESED YOU TO DO THAT! NOW WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" Ash shouted.  
  
Charazard stared at him and shrugged. Then he ate the Porkachu.  
  
"WWWWAAAAAHHHHH!" Ash proceeds to cry and floods the room. Everyone drowns and dies. The End.  
  
Sorry for the stupid ending. Oh well. I would like to thank Dellchat, and my bestest friendful friend, CLP. And also thanks to the reviewers. But most of all, I would like to thank my mom for making the home cooked meal of pork. Thank You Again. 


End file.
